barbie alternatives

Me encontre estas humorosas alternativas de Barbie

BARBIES WE WOULD LIKE TO SEE

Birkenstock Barbie: Finally, a Barbie doll with horizontal feet and comfortable sandals. Made from recycled materials.

Bisexual Barbie: Comes in a package with Skipper and Ken.

Bite-The-Bullet Barbie: An anthropologist Barbie with pith helmet, camera, detachable limbs, fake blood, and the ability to perform surgery on herself in the Outback.

Blue Collar Barbie: Comes with overalls, protective goggles, lunch pail, UAW membership, pamphlet on union-organizing and pay scales for women as compared to men. Waitressing outfits and cashier's aprons may be purchased separately for Barbies who are holding down second jobs in order to make ends meet.

Our Barbies Ourselves: Anatomically correct Barbie, both inside and out, comes with spreadable legs, her own speculum, magnifying glass, and detailed diagrams of female anatomy so that little girls can learn about their bodies in a friendly, non-threatening way. Also included: tiny Kotex, booklets on sexual responsibility. Accessories such as contraceptives, sex toys, expanding uterus with fetus at various stages of development, and breastpump are all optional, underscoring that each young woman has the right to chose what she does with her own Barbie.

Rebbe Barbie: So why not? Women rabbis are on the cutting edge in Judaism. Rebbe Barbie comes with tiny satin yarmulke, prayer shawl, teffilin, silver kaddish cup, Torah scrolls. Optional: tiny mezzuzah for doorway of Barbie Townhouse.

Homegirl Barbie: Truly fly Barble in midriff-bearing shirt and baggy jeans. Comes with gold jewelry, hip-hop accessories, and plenty of attitude. Pull cord and she says things like "I don't think so,""Dang, get outta my face," and "You go, girl." Teaches girls not to take shit from men and condesending White people.

Transgender Barbie: Formerly known as G.I. Joe.

Robotic Barbie: Hey, kids, experiment with an autonomous two-legged walking machine! After falling over, she says "Control theory is hard. Damn these spike heels anyway!"

Dinner Roll Barbie: A Barbie with multiple love handles, double chin, a real curvy belly, generous tits and ass, and voluminous thighs to show girls that voluptuousness is also beautiful. Comes with a miniature basket of dinner rolls, tiny Entenmann's walnut ring, a t-shirt reading "Only the Weak Don't Eat," and, of course, an appetite.

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The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of "Baywatch" have joined forces to create Baywatch Barbie came as no surprise. After all, both companies have made millions off airheads with flawless skins, Malibu tans and synthetic breasts.

If Baywatch Barbie sells well, other Barbie/TV tie-ins seem certain to follow. Some possibilities:

Melrose Place Barbie: Comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment, where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other accessories include a bottle of vodka, silk sheets, and an arrest warrant.

Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other homesteaders important tips like what conditioner to use out on the Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a horse.

America's Most Wanted Barbie: She's on the run after 30 years of crime against feminism.

Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math class is, Ballerina Barbie's struggle with bulimia, Kens who wear Barbie's clothes.

My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as regular teens who don't have huge wardrobes, perfect bods, pools, and ponies.

Roseanne Barbie: The dark side of the American dream is explored with this doll, which shows what happened after Barbie graduated from high school, married too young and ate too much.

Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie set (she's 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls mysteriously disappear.

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[Editor's Note: This, like much of the material on this humor page, has been floating around the net for some time. However, according to a page that goes by the name of Hacker Barbe Dream Basement Apartment, this is actually a ripoff of an original usenet post by Kurt Hemr. Whatever, I find it amusing anyway.]

(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.

This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series. The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire. Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel," "NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."

"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketing Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with condescending companions Ken. The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who frequently asks Barbie for help.

The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie dolls. Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses." Mattel made no comment.

Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all know, she now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it, but she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an introduction to expository writing.

Read more, les dejo el link

http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/barbie.html

WTF

Hacemos tu tesis en 1 MES




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Acabo de ver ese mensaje en un google adds y le di click, mi mente n sese momenoto no lo podia creer
pero si.
aparentemente hay una .. empresa si es que la quieres llamar asi, que se dedica a hacer la tesis de otras personas para que (de acuerdo a las pagina) el estudiante "cuente con el tiempo prometido con su tesis sin preocuparse de ningún detalle"
y perdon por la expresion
Pero No chinges wey!!!!
es tos vaots
que radican en la ciudad de Mexico, se dedican a hacerlela tesis a la gente huevona, que perdonenme pero no tengo otra palabra para decirlo, que no quiere graudarse cons us propios logros.

Le decia a mi hermana hace como 6 meses que me gustaba el hecho de que tenias que presentar una tesis para graduarte, porque? por la simple y sencilla razon que necesitabas hacer consttr que si por alguna razon habias pasad de Pansaso todas tus materias, o por que te habias macheteado 2 dias antes del examen y para la semana que te dieron las calificaciones ya no sabias ni amdres, minimo... MINIMO hubiera algo que supieras en serio aunque sea el estudio del sgnificado de los animales nativoamericanos reflejados en las novelas de Harry Potter de JK Rowling.
Obvio que hace mucho que hay gente que le hace las tesis a otrs personas, o le puedes pagar a Maestros para que te pasen y les valga madre.
pero dealli para que lo anuncien en google y tengan una pag en internet es otra cosa.
Lo peor es que la pag esta bien hecha, y es una pag que te inspira confianza, tiene un diseño limpio, buenas fotos , y me cagaaa!
Es lo mismo a que le pages a alguien para que te de las respuestas de un examen, y perdoname pero que caso tiene, que caso tiene tener n papelito que diga que tienes una educacion y estas licenciado para hacer cierta profesion si relamente no sabes ni madres?

Abstraerse

No se cuantas veces me paso, peor si reucerdo que fue una interesante cantidad de veces.

paso que cuando era pequeña tenia un tremendo problema para hacer las tareas, no era simplemente que me daba flojeras que sucede con muchos tantos niños, tampoco que me aburiesen, o que realmente queria hacer algo mas.
Sino que en ocaciones me quedaba horas... HORAS sentada en mi escritorio en mi recamara (que ra la ultima de la casa) sin moverme viendo hacia mis libros y mis libretas, y No haciendo mi tarea.
Mi mama solia decir que me distraia tan facilmente que me distraia con la mosca que pasaba al lado de mi. Siempre dijeron acerca de mi refranes como ese que habla de la inmortalidad del cangrejo (que por cierto en una ocacion me comentaron la razon de ese, pero de momenot no lo recuerdo). Pero la verdad es qe nunca me distaje con razones externas. Bueno eso es una mentira, Si hubo ocaciones en que me distraje por razones externas, pero en esas ocaciones que estaba sentada y no escuchaba nada, simplemente era por que esta completamente abstraida yo en las cosas que pensaba, en posibilidades de cada decision o cuestinando las cosas mas sencillas. eran tiempos en que me concentraba y podia alguien tocar a mi puerta deir mi nombre y no les contestaba n o como un acto de mala educacion sino por que simplemente no registraba esas lamadas externas.
En ese tiempo aunque suene de lo peor creo que fueron los años que mas le dedique al hermoso arte de no hacer nada, que como resultada daban como consecuencia a la hermosa actividad de pensar. y tambian hace falta recalcar que fui muy regañada todos esos años por mi madre... justamente por no hacer nada
Con el paso del tiempo cada vez fui teniendo mas actividades fui viendo cada vez mas la tele y fueron esas actividades externas que me separaron de detenerme a pensar las cosas, ironicamente ahora soy menos impulsiba, sigo pensando (obviamente) pero en cosas del dia ya no me sorprendo tan seguido profundisando en algo en particular hasta sacar las conlcuciones mas arrebatadas.
En parte es por que me e concentrado mucho en lo externo a mi cabeza, Mi familia(incluyase a Toda la gente a la que quiero), mi Carrera (mucho en mi carrera), Mi trabajo, Musica que cada que me quedo con el tiempo de no hacer nada, siento la necesidad que necesito un impulso que me llene la cabeza de algo. e incluso lo busco.
e tomado la firme decision de que retomare esa actividad, hay que hacerse el tiempo, como se hace tiempo para comer o hacer ejercicio. solo que ahora tendra que compartirse con otras, como escuchar musica tejer o bañarse
lo que sea necesario para retomarlo
me retiro a pensar, buenas noches

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Hoy en mi 8305 dia de vida e llegado a la conclucion de que el camino hacia el exito es muy sencillo, simplemente si quieres hacer algo, intentalo, cada que falles (and you probably will)vuelvelo a intentar de una manera distinta.
Puede que no sea el camino mas feliz, o sencillo.
Se necesita fuerza, perseverancia, paciencia y arduo trabajo(Mucho), pero gracias a alguna deidad, es algo de lo mas sencillo de adquirir.