sábado, 3 de octubre de 2009
sábado, 26 de septiembre de 2009
barbie alternatives
BARBIES WE WOULD LIKE TO SEE
Birkenstock Barbie: Finally, a Barbie doll with horizontal feet and comfortable sandals. Made from recycled materials.
Bisexual Barbie: Comes in a package with Skipper and Ken.
Bite-The-Bullet Barbie: An anthropologist Barbie with pith helmet, camera, detachable limbs, fake blood, and the ability to perform surgery on herself in the Outback.
Blue Collar Barbie: Comes with overalls, protective goggles, lunch pail, UAW membership, pamphlet on union-organizing and pay scales for women as compared to men. Waitressing outfits and cashier's aprons may be purchased separately for Barbies who are holding down second jobs in order to make ends meet.
Our Barbies Ourselves: Anatomically correct Barbie, both inside and out, comes with spreadable legs, her own speculum, magnifying glass, and detailed diagrams of female anatomy so that little girls can learn about their bodies in a friendly, non-threatening way. Also included: tiny Kotex, booklets on sexual responsibility. Accessories such as contraceptives, sex toys, expanding uterus with fetus at various stages of development, and breastpump are all optional, underscoring that each young woman has the right to chose what she does with her own Barbie.
Rebbe Barbie: So why not? Women rabbis are on the cutting edge in Judaism. Rebbe Barbie comes with tiny satin yarmulke, prayer shawl, teffilin, silver kaddish cup, Torah scrolls. Optional: tiny mezzuzah for doorway of Barbie Townhouse.
Homegirl Barbie: Truly fly Barble in midriff-bearing shirt and baggy jeans. Comes with gold jewelry, hip-hop accessories, and plenty of attitude. Pull cord and she says things like "I don't think so,""Dang, get outta my face," and "You go, girl." Teaches girls not to take shit from men and condesending White people.
Transgender Barbie: Formerly known as G.I. Joe.
Robotic Barbie: Hey, kids, experiment with an autonomous two-legged walking machine! After falling over, she says "Control theory is hard. Damn these spike heels anyway!"
Dinner Roll Barbie: A Barbie with multiple love handles, double chin, a real curvy belly, generous tits and ass, and voluminous thighs to show girls that voluptuousness is also beautiful. Comes with a miniature basket of dinner rolls, tiny Entenmann's walnut ring, a t-shirt reading "Only the Weak Don't Eat," and, of course, an appetite.
The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of "Baywatch" have joined forces to create Baywatch Barbie came as no surprise. After all, both companies have made millions off airheads with flawless skins, Malibu tans and synthetic breasts.
If Baywatch Barbie sells well, other Barbie/TV tie-ins seem certain to follow. Some possibilities:
Melrose Place Barbie: Comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment, where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other accessories include a bottle of vodka, silk sheets, and an arrest warrant.
Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other homesteaders important tips like what conditioner to use out on the Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a horse.
America's Most Wanted Barbie: She's on the run after 30 years of crime against feminism.
Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math class is, Ballerina Barbie's struggle with bulimia, Kens who wear Barbie's clothes.
My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as regular teens who don't have huge wardrobes, perfect bods, pools, and ponies.
Roseanne Barbie: The dark side of the American dream is explored with this doll, which shows what happened after Barbie graduated from high school, married too young and ate too much.
Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie set (she's 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls mysteriously disappear.
[Editor's Note: This, like much of the material on this humor page, has been floating around the net for some time. However, according to a page that goes by the name of Hacker Barbe Dream Basement Apartment, this is actually a ripoff of an original usenet post by Kurt Hemr. Whatever, I find it amusing anyway.]
(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.
This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series. The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire. Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel," "NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."
"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketing Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with condescending companions Ken. The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who frequently asks Barbie for help.
The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie dolls. Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses." Mattel made no comment.
Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all know, she now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it, but she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.
The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an introduction to expository writing.
Read more, les dejo el link
http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/barbie.html
sábado, 12 de septiembre de 2009
WTF
...
Acabo de ver ese mensaje en un google adds y le di click, mi mente n sese momenoto no lo podia creer
pero si.
aparentemente hay una .. empresa si es que la quieres llamar asi, que se dedica a hacer la tesis de otras personas para que (de acuerdo a las pagina) el estudiante "cuente con el tiempo prometido con su tesis sin preocuparse de ningún detalle"
y perdon por la expresion
Pero No chinges wey!!!!
es tos vaots
que radican en la ciudad de Mexico, se dedican a hacerlela tesis a la gente huevona, que perdonenme pero no tengo otra palabra para decirlo, que no quiere graudarse cons us propios logros.
Le decia a mi hermana hace como 6 meses que me gustaba el hecho de que tenias que presentar una tesis para graduarte, porque? por la simple y sencilla razon que necesitabas hacer consttr que si por alguna razon habias pasad de Pansaso todas tus materias, o por que te habias macheteado 2 dias antes del examen y para la semana que te dieron las calificaciones ya no sabias ni amdres, minimo... MINIMO hubiera algo que supieras en serio aunque sea el estudio del sgnificado de los animales nativoamericanos reflejados en las novelas de Harry Potter de JK Rowling.
Obvio que hace mucho que hay gente que le hace las tesis a otrs personas, o le puedes pagar a Maestros para que te pasen y les valga madre.
pero dealli para que lo anuncien en google y tengan una pag en internet es otra cosa.
Lo peor es que la pag esta bien hecha, y es una pag que te inspira confianza, tiene un diseño limpio, buenas fotos , y me cagaaa!
Es lo mismo a que le pages a alguien para que te de las respuestas de un examen, y perdoname pero que caso tiene, que caso tiene tener n papelito que diga que tienes una educacion y estas licenciado para hacer cierta profesion si relamente no sabes ni madres?
viernes, 11 de septiembre de 2009
Abstraerse
paso que cuando era pequeña tenia un tremendo problema para hacer las tareas, no era simplemente que me daba flojeras que sucede con muchos tantos niños, tampoco que me aburiesen, o que realmente queria hacer algo mas.
Sino que en ocaciones me quedaba horas... HORAS sentada en mi escritorio en mi recamara (que ra la ultima de la casa) sin moverme viendo hacia mis libros y mis libretas, y No haciendo mi tarea.
Mi mama solia decir que me distraia tan facilmente que me distraia con la mosca que pasaba al lado de mi. Siempre dijeron acerca de mi refranes como ese que habla de la inmortalidad del cangrejo (que por cierto en una ocacion me comentaron la razon de ese, pero de momenot no lo recuerdo). Pero la verdad es qe nunca me distaje con razones externas. Bueno eso es una mentira, Si hubo ocaciones en que me distraje por razones externas, pero en esas ocaciones que estaba sentada y no escuchaba nada, simplemente era por que esta completamente abstraida yo en las cosas que pensaba, en posibilidades de cada decision o cuestinando las cosas mas sencillas. eran tiempos en que me concentraba y podia alguien tocar a mi puerta deir mi nombre y no les contestaba n o como un acto de mala educacion sino por que simplemente no registraba esas lamadas externas.
En ese tiempo aunque suene de lo peor creo que fueron los años que mas le dedique al hermoso arte de no hacer nada, que como resultada daban como consecuencia a la hermosa actividad de pensar. y tambian hace falta recalcar que fui muy regañada todos esos años por mi madre... justamente por no hacer nada
Con el paso del tiempo cada vez fui teniendo mas actividades fui viendo cada vez mas la tele y fueron esas actividades externas que me separaron de detenerme a pensar las cosas, ironicamente ahora soy menos impulsiba, sigo pensando (obviamente) pero en cosas del dia ya no me sorprendo tan seguido profundisando en algo en particular hasta sacar las conlcuciones mas arrebatadas.
En parte es por que me e concentrado mucho en lo externo a mi cabeza, Mi familia(incluyase a Toda la gente a la que quiero), mi Carrera (mucho en mi carrera), Mi trabajo, Musica que cada que me quedo con el tiempo de no hacer nada, siento la necesidad que necesito un impulso que me llene la cabeza de algo. e incluso lo busco.
e tomado la firme decision de que retomare esa actividad, hay que hacerse el tiempo, como se hace tiempo para comer o hacer ejercicio. solo que ahora tendra que compartirse con otras, como escuchar musica tejer o bañarse
lo que sea necesario para retomarlo
me retiro a pensar, buenas noches
lunes, 7 de septiembre de 2009
...
Puede que no sea el camino mas feliz, o sencillo.
Se necesita fuerza, perseverancia, paciencia y arduo trabajo(Mucho), pero gracias a alguna deidad, es algo de lo mas sencillo de adquirir.
lunes, 10 de agosto de 2009
65 Things A Man Should Know About Style
http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/65style
Sergio Valente put it best when he said, 'How you look tells the world how you feel.'
1.
If you can slip two fingers between your neck and the buttoned collar of a new dress shirt, the shirt will fit comfortably after laundering.
2.
The shirt placket, the belt buckle, and the trouser fly should all line up.
3.
Speaking of belt buckles, the point of your tie should never fall below it.
4.
Rent no clothing.
5.
Ninety-dollar shoes last half as long as $180 shoes, but $360 shoes will last you your whole life.
6.
Three-hundred-sixty-dollar shoes will not last your whole life if you break their backs by refusing to use a shoehorn.
7.
Three-hundred-sixty-dollar shoes without a shine can look like $90 shoes.
8. Women notice shoes.
9.
They also notice nose hair; so should you.
10.
Good shoes and a good haircut matter more than a great suit.
11.
Neckties decorated with cartoon characters, golf tees, or the paintings of dead rock musicians coordinate with nothing.
12.
It is never acceptable to loosen your tie, except during the process of its removal.
13.
You are in your car an hour each day; you are in your clothes from morning to night. Spend accordingly.
14.
The seat-belt shoulder strap goes under your necktie.
15.
You can't wear a bow tie with anything other than a tuxedo if you're under forty-five or not a famous novelist or not a total geek, professor.
16.
Very few people want to see you in compression shorts, and those who do might not be your target audience.
17.
Likewise tight, black leather pants, Mr. Bon Jovi.
18.
A $250 shirt will look like a $25 shirt if it is professionally laundered instead of hand washed.
19.
Still, you will be happiest if you regard dress shirts as disposable.
20.
By the way, this blue-shirt craze is getting really tiresome.
21.
Buy the lightest-weight tuxedo you can find, because dancing and drinking and scantily clad women cause formal affairs to become overheated.
22.
One ring, maximum. On a finger. Not from college. Not from high school. Silver or platinum, not gold.
23.
On airplane trips, briefs are more comfortable than boxers, as contents may shift during takeoff and landing.
24.
There are no bargains.
25.
A man in a good suit and tie looks chic; a man in a good suit without a tie looks more chic.
26.
A man who uses the word chic had better be kidding around.
27.
A man in a suit without a tie can wear loafers; a man in a suit with a tie cannot.
28.
Ed Bradley doesn't look as good with that earring as he thinks he does.
29.
Jack Nicholson can wear two-tone spectator shoes only because he is Jack Nicholson.
30.
It is far better to arrive at an event overdressed than underdressed: People will think you've got somewhere more important to go afterward.
31.
Cheap cashmere is less soft and more fragile than expensive wool.
32.
A T-shirt that shows through a dress shirt is the male equivalent of visible panty lines.
33.
Do not wear button-down collars with double-breasted suits.
34.
Do not unbutton double-breasted suits, Letterman notwithstanding.
35.
The only thing worse than wearing socks that don't cover one's calves is wearing patterned socks that don't cover one's calves.
36.
If you lose one cuff link, remove the remaining orphan; this will make it look as if you have insouciant personal style and omitted them on purpose.
37.
Keep a lint roller in your office. And in your car.
38.
A good suit treated well shouldn't be dry-cleaned more than twice a season; a good tuxedo treated well should never be dry-cleaned.
Unless you're a quarterback, never wear anything with your name and/or number on it.
39.
Jeans should never meet an iron.
40.
What you find at an outlet store is what other people refused to buy or what a company thinks you will buy because you're the kind of person who shops at an outlet store.
41.
Khakis religiously worn on Fridays are no less a uniform than a business suit worn the prior four days.
42.
Nonetheless, you can never have too many khakis. Or white heavyweight-cotton T-shirts or canvas tennis shoes. For Saturday.
Numbers to remember: one half inch of shirt cuff; one and a half inches of trouser cuff; two inches more belt than inches on your waist.
43.
Your belt and shoes should match in color, if not in material.
44.
Speaking of color, there is little use for pink, peach, or teal.
45.
It's not the name on the label or the numbers on the credit-card statement but how good you look in it.
46.
Even Al Gore shouldn't wear a watch with a built-in calculator.
47.
Like cars and stereo equipment, clothes are not really 'invest-ments,' because they cannot appreciate. They're clothes.
48.
It's more important in a man's daily life to have a good tailor than a good doctor.
49.
Clothing salesmen can change your life in a good way, but not many of them.
50.
Two elements of style that will last longer than any man who is smart enough to own them: a sterling belt buckle from Tiffany and simple cuff links.
51.
A restaurant meal tastes better when you're wearing a suit coat.
52.
Band-collar shirts make you look either stupid or like a priest or like a stupid priest.
53.
Whether a tie is too fat or too skinny should be decided by you, on a tie-by-tie basis.
54.
When in doubt, ask a woman.
55.
Know that she will often be wrong, too, and that ultimately a man is alone in a vast sea of indecision that he must ply.
56.
Never trust a fashion magazine. CelebrityTrendZ is not a fashion magazine. CelebrityTrendZ likes you very much and is only trying to help.
57.
Cigars are never stylish in mixed company.
58.
If you hang your jacket on a chair and then sit on the chair and lean back, your jacket will look as if you had hung it on a chair and then sat on the chair and leaned back.
59.
Drape your scarf on that chair and you're going to lose it, and we are not your mother.
60.
A black knit tie coordinates with jeans and a blazer as well as it does with a French-cuffed shirt and a custom-made suit.
Levi's.
61.
Deep in the heart of the Middle West, some people are actually wearing those baggy, printed workout pants again, and you owe God your deepest thanks that you have the presence of mind to not be among them.
62.
The most important thing about selecting a hotel is the ability of the staff to press a shirt instantly, anytime, day or night.
First suit: navy solid. Second suit: gray solid. Third suit: navy pinstripe. Fourth suit: gray chalk stripe. Fifth suit: black. Sixth suit: You need no sixth suit.
63.
To have absolute style is to break absolute rules - sometimes even these.
64.
There is no foot pain so severe, no dress shoe so fragile, no commute so arduous, as to justify the sartorial holocaust that is wearing sneakers with a suit.
65.
Unless you have a harelip or happen to be Wilford Brimley, you look exactly half as attractive with a mustache.
domingo, 17 de mayo de 2009
linea
jueves, 7 de mayo de 2009
...
ultimamente mas que en otras ocaciones me e dado cuenta, que soy iuna persona muy fisica.
no precisamente por que haga ejercio, cosa que noe stoy haciendo en absoluto, si no por que soy una persona que siente que tiene que tener contacto.
hace cerca de un mes tesbamaos comentando que como diseñadoras de modas, nos muestan algo y queremos tocarlo... por que cuando nos muestran la tela tenemos que sentirla para saber como se sentiria y de que material es, a mi en lo personal y tengo testigos, cuando voy a un museo, me tengo que aguantar las ganas de tocarlo, por que si, quiero tocar los cuadros.
fuera de eso,
hace 2 semanas se me prohibio saludar de beso o de mano, o en general tocar a los demas debido a una enfermedad, ... lo que me parecio una tortura!!!!!
queria abrazar a alguien but again, yo trabajo en un call center, lo que considero yo un centro de contacto, entonces... llegaba a mi casa y no podia tocar a los demas, lo peor fue cuando me dijo Marcelo,
vale, te doy un abrazo?
no mi vida,
por que nadie quiere que lo abraze??
well, la vdd no le hize caso a tal restriccion por mucho tiempo, lo cual debo admitir una parte de mi lo cree una grave falta de atencion a las autoridades y un error, me carcome la idea de que le pase algo malo a quien quiero, la vdd, no e presentado yo nigun tipo de sintoma...
domingo, 29 de marzo de 2009
...
Has sentido como que el tiempo se te escurre de las manos?
se supone que es el tiempo el que se nos va verdad? es el tiempo el que se va acabando
pero... creo yo que es un ejemplo muy pobre, por que el tiempo no se escurre de las manos, no se cae cuando lo intentamos agarrar,y no se va haciendo cada vez mas lenta la caida, y por sobre todo, nunca deja de fluir, el tiempo se queda el tiempo son las manos, los que nos escurrimos somos nosotros.
uno puede pasar la vida diciendo cosas como quiero quiero quiero, algun dia, pero si quieres hacer algo, realmente quieres hacer algo el momento siempre es ahora
pero hay que ser inteligentes no quiere decir que no vaya a haber mañana ni que el ayer no importa, isn embargo, ... me mando mi novio un articulo de que el ser humano empieza a decaer despues de los 27 años, ya no pensamos igual, la memoria ya no capta todo, asi que... definitivamente nos hacemos cada vez mas brutos, digo, sin mencionar los golpes de cabeza que nos damos matando neuronas por millares asi que... hay que aprovecharnos no?
para poder aprovechar el tiempo a mi parecer tienes que saber que quieres, y tomar decisiones, realmente lo vas a hacer, comprometete a hacerlo, crees que lo vas a hacer, no frieges no quiero tibios* en mi equipo y si despues cambias de opinion, no puedes empezar desde el principio, no puedes regresar a donde estabas, las cosas nunca "pueden ser como era antes" pero pueden ser diferentes, el cambio es lo unico constante hay que recordarlo, hay que ver hacia atras de vez en cuando, pero como siempre se avanza hacia el frente, si no vemos donde pisamos, tienes el pendiente de caerte...
gotta go since y have llooots of hw to do. iv been feeling weird since last week, dunno why...
The flow of time is always cruel... its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it... A thing that does not change with time is a memory of younger days...
the legend of Zelda Ocarina of time
Mucho mas feliz - No te va a Gustar
con una cruz en la mano, has venido hasta mí
si el diablo me llama, no lo voy a seguir
de los mundos que se hicieron, en el tercero nací
pero eso ni me preocupa, yo soy mucho más feliz
jueves, 12 de marzo de 2009
Señoritas
ok esto lo acaba de leer en un fanfiction que me gusta leer,
hay gente que escribe bien
de hecho esa frase viene de otra que en lo personal no la habia escuchado, pero si por separado algo similiar
Si una señorita dice no, quiere decir tal vez, si una señorita dice tal vez, quiere decir si. Si una señorita dice si, entonces no es
una señorita.
pero que demonioooooooos, que tendria que decir una mujer si quiere decir que no... ? ni aunqe fueras el ultimo hombre de la tierra?? porque creo que que eso lo he escuchado ya muchas veces de otras bocas
...
jamas en la vida
ni en mis peores pesadillas
ni aunqe no estuviera en mis cabales
...
si sa frase era para subir la autoestima de los hombres
creo que cualquiera de esas respuestas lo haria sentir mas deprimido
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- Giselle
- novia, hermana, hija, estudiante, prima, tia, libre, inteligente, loca, sencilla, enojona, tonta, amable, exigente, conformista, criticona, sensible, preocupona, ambiciosa, incoherente ... Y no se si esto describe quien soy pero definitivamente es una parte de lo que soy Espero que no sea todo lo que llegare a ser Puedes leer este blog a ver si descubres quien soy